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Got the timetable the other day.
Not too bad, date wise.
16th May - English Language Unit 1 and 2
21st May - English Literature Unit 1 and 2
2nd June - Media Studies Unit 2
Then obviously I have photography as well.
But no written exam or anything, so thats okay.
The thing is though, I have so much to do in such a short space of time.
I need to finish reading The Great Gatsby AND Cat on a hot tin roof.
Then read them like a million more times, so that I can actually feel like I could answer questions on them.
I need to finish annotating the William Blake poems, and try to memorise them...fucking closed book exams :|
So basically I'm fucked for that.
Got to put a lot of effort in there for the next month and a bit.
So no needless timewasting for me...
Which is not good, because I'm SO EASILY DISTRACTED.
Then of course there is Media.
FUCKKKKKKKKED for it I swear to God.
I don't even know what the exam is about.........
Literally no idea what I'm meant to be doing for it.
PLUS, I've done no photography exam work, and I was meant to be doing that over the last 2 weeks.
Fair enough I have like 5 weeks to go, but still.
I have no ideas what I'm doing for it yet.
The theme is a bit shit in my opinion.
LINKS AND CONNECTIONS.
I can but try, I suppose.
:|
xox
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
blah - Music:Maybe - Kelly Clarkson
It doesn't feel like Easter at all.
It certainly doesn't look like Easter either.
Thats the view from my bedroom window (taken through glass, which is why its a terrible shot).
When it was pouring, it seemed like it should be Christmas.
But it isn't.
Its spring, only it really is far too cold for that to be true.
Never mind.
The cold only makes the summer seem that bit nicer.
Although its never particularly glorious then either.
But its better than nothing, is it not?
British summer, what the Australians call a bad winter.
It's depressing that I get sunburn from that.
Not once have I been tanned.
EVER.
Damn ginger hair and pale skin.
I go from white, to bright red, and straight back to white.
But at least this summer I'll be skinnier.
Fingers crossed.
So, anyway.
My goals, workwise are completed for today!
Except for the commentary, which I'll do after my tea.
Or after I've posted this.
Whichever is first.
I think thats pretty much all I have to say for today.....
xox
Fern
- Location:My room, thinking of ways to not feel hungry
- Mood:
content - Music:Whatever my sister has on. Some kind of emo type shit
It might not be the most valuable thing money wise, but it means so much to me, so I was GUTTED.
I proper freaked out, and knew the second it was gone who'd taken it, considering I'd had a friend over that day.
I say friend, we didn't speak much for a long time after this.
So after tears and anger, my mum came up with a ploy to help me get it back.
Basically I rang this person up, and asked if they'd seen it anywhere around, and could they check in their bag or whatever, incase it had 'somehow fallen in'. In other words if their little grubby fingers had taken it.
Lo and behold I got a phonecall back about 10 minutes later saying it had somehow wound up in their cardigan pocket.
I was so mad that they had it, but so relieved at the prospect of getting it back.
After weeks of reminding I finally got it back from them, and I swear to God, I'm so nervous about wearing it now, or even leaving it lying about, incase I lose it again.
Fun times eh!
xox
Fern
- Location:In my Pjs, in my room. I should get dressed really....
- Mood:awake
- Music:Maria Mena
Therefore I am going to make endless lists of things I need to do, in the vague hope that seeing it in writing will make me more determined.
Although I can assure anyone reading that it will get more and more boring as days, weeks, months go on.
1) Drop some pounds.
Weight = 10st = 140lbs
Height = 5'7"
BMI = 21.96
This WILL change, I assure you.
Except maybe my height, I don't think I'm going to grow anymore.
Although I must admit, if weight is going to come off, I'd prefer it not to be from my tits thanks.
D cup is fine by me.
No smaller thanks very much.
To clear things up, I'm not some weight obsessed shallow person, I just want to take better care of myself.
In which case I should quit smoking.
But I'm not going to. Its too much fun.
And an appetite suppressant, which I suppose is handy, in a way.
Now, no crazy, shitty diets, just not eating endless amounts of crap, and grazing when I'm bored.
Cut back on things with sugar.
At college, eat the lunch I take with me, and not find some excuse to buy something else instead.
No chocolate at college.
Drink a lot of water.
I should probably eat breakfast again, but I honestly hate it.
It makes me feel so ill.
Perhaps a piece of fruit would be manageable.
No food after 10.00pm.
2) Organise college work better
I have but a few weeks left of coursework, if that.
Probably about two, maybe less.
Tomorrow, MONDAY, I will start, do, and finish my 2nd piece of language coursework.
It will be on the use of fur in the fashion industry.
And how that is a bad thing.
Following this, I AM going to redraft my commentary for the first piece I did.
Tuesday will be focused on photography.
I have a model shoot in the afternoon, but will go into town on my way there to buy 2 workbooks.
On wednesday, I will shoot my last batch of Vernacular photographs, and begin looking to see which I will use in my final piece.
MEDIA coursework is important also.
Battle through and do what I can is the general plan, having never been told what I'm supposed to do for the essays.
Getting the actual magazine cover produced will be easy.
You can do this in the lesson on friday.
REMEMBER TO TAKE IN YOUR DISC WITH THE CHOSEN PHOTOS!
3) FINISH READING, THEN REREAD SET TEXTS FOR ENGLISH LIT!
This is a must.
I need to know these inside out, since one of them is a closed book exam.
Look at the poems, and analyse all of the ones I haven't already done.
ASAP!
After I have posted this, I will read The Great Gatsby.
I will be finished this by tuesday night.
I can then re read it, after finishing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
This will be read by thursday at the latest.
I can't let myself be distracted by the internet or anything else.
THIS MUST BE DONE!
These are my ONLY priorities at the moment.
I can't let myself drift from this, as the last two directly affect my future.
And the first one makes me look nice, which is important as well.
FOCUS.
If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave me a comment.
xox
Fern
- Location:My room, thinking about how it needs to be tidied...
- Mood:
uncomfortable - Music:Whatever is on tv downstairs
Typical.
Can I do nothing right these days?
Perhaps I need some time.
Time to do what, I dont know.
Whenever I have a break, I seem to waste it, so it never seems like I had one.
I need something new.
Something different.
Different faces every day.
Different places to see when I walk out the door.
Perhaps a different me.
If only it could be this time next year.
End of college.
Almost time to move onto university.
Away.
Edinburgh or London.
Somewhere new.
Exciting.
Scary.
I'm boxed in here.
By myself.
By others.
By my decisions.
I need a clean break.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
Becuase right now, I'm nowhere.
And I'm moving backwards, not forwards.
College was meant to be a clean break, but I'm going round and round, not ahead.
I haven't moved on.
I haven't got rid of the people I SO wanted to be free of.
Somehow they've clawed their way back in.
And this time, I know I want them out.
Time to plan.
Make a list.
See things clearly, for what they are.
Simple facts, that I need to realise.
1) BREAK FREE
2) GET ORGANISED
3) MAKE THINGS HAPPEN
4) BE MORE CONSIDERATE OF WHAT I NEED
5) GET TONED AND SLIM AGAIN (DIET TIME)
6) SMILE EVEN WHEN LIFE IS SHIT!
- Location:My room
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:Nothing at the moment
